May 5th, 2023
Recently I went backpacking in the canyons of Southern Utah.
Although I remember the first time I drove through that land when I moved to Colorado from Massachusetts 15 years ago, it did nothing to stop my jaw from dropping open as we turned west off of 191 to head into Canyonlands.
I’m not speaking in some cute terms of “my jaw dropped open”. I mean literally and not figuratively literally:
My actual jaw. Dropped. Open.
As it started to sprawl out before me, I couldn’t help feeling like I was on another planet. I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to contain the awe.
I’ve spent lots more time in that part of the country since then, but it still blows my mind and makes my jaw drop open every time I enter that landscape.
But this is not a blog about my vacation, or even about the jaw-dropping beauty of southern Utah. It’s about the experience I was fortunate to have as I sat in one spot there for two nights and two days with just a sleeping bag, a bevy sac, a few extra layers, sunscreen and WATER.
Something glorious happens, actually.
Nothing.
That’s right, on that Canyon, nothing happened because there was nothing to do. No journal to track my insights. No food I had to plan or prepare. No book to distract me from me. No hikes to take me on curious adventures.
Just me and the canyon.
And within that silence of the world and myself, I was happily forced to get really really quiet. In these moments, I stopped trying to figure everything out, and I sat for a long time just listening to my breath and the quiet of the canyon.
I watched the light change.
I watched the first star show itself in the evening and I watched the last star disappear in the morning.
I also talked to my ancestors.
I cried as I let my heart break and I laughed as I sat with the gorgeousness of being human.
I was totally chill with the fly that landed on my leg and I didn’t get bored or hungry or scared.
And in the middle of the afternoon, when the desert sun was hot and my body was getting accustomed to not eating, I lay down on my sleeping bag, closed my eyes, and heard a question:
Immediately, my response was a fervent NO. I could feel the clarity of the NO rise up in my belly and I knew instantly that it came from a deep well of knowing. Knowing that: NO. Self doubt is NOT my final answer.
This instant knowing excited me so much that when my two days were up, I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to keep opening further and further into the quiet. Afterall, I was only now scratching the surface. What other intuitive knowings were waiting to bubble up outside of me?
After this time, I couldn’t imagine coming back to this world and having anything to say.
But alas, I did. I packed up my things and walked back with my guide to our shared campsite and the next day we hiked out of the canyon and I made my way back home to my plants and my people waiting for my return.
After my time away, I came back knowing something very important: it turns out that I still have a few more things to say.
I still have work to do that involves speaking and eating and reading and writing. And as I enter again the world of words (and books, and food!) I carry with me one of the big gifts from my time in the canyon:
The fervent NO I felt in response to the question I was asked…“is self-doubt your final answer?”
And if self-doubt is NOT my final answer, what’s next? What comes after self-doubt?
Which is why I now offer the question to you: “Is self-doubt your final answer?”
What would be possible if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that what you have to say matters?
That your work in the world is significant. That your mere presence is significant.
What would you try?
What would you say?
Who would you help?
What direction would you leap?
I ask again: Is self-doubt your final answer?
It’s with nothing but deep love, gratitude and reckless anticipation that I hope a fervent NO is bubbling up inside you as well.
Here’s to the quiet, and to what comes after self-doubt.
_______
If you’re ready to move beyond your self-doubt by taking the next step, click this link to schedule a time to chat: https://johannawalker.com/chat. You don’t have to move forward alone.
February 28th, 2022
Do you ever jump into the deep end (cannonball style 😄) to try new things out?
I’m shaking things up a bit with this newsletter and am committing to some consistency (choke, gasp, cough…. did you say Johanna’s consistently inconsistent newsletter is going to be …consistent?!?! Wait, what? Who are you and what did you do with Johanna?!)
It’s true. I’ve got an awesome team in my corner, so I’m not doing it alone. (As I always say, why do anything alone when you can do it with help?)
Here’s a little story:
You might not know this about me, but I have a PhD in online dating. Yes it’s true. I’ve been on more than a date or two. I report on my dating escapades on my semi-weekly family zoom call, and they all agree my dating stories are the best part of the call.
This story is about a particular date I went on last Sunday. My date and I (let’s call him Tom) were working through a stack of cards full of fun and surprising questions for first dates. One of the questions I drew was “If I had a podcast, what would it be called?” So based on what the date knows about me so far, which is very little, his job is to name my podcast.
I asked the question and without a second thought, he said “Skinny Dipping with Johanna.”
And I thought “OMG THAT’S PERFECT!”
I’m all about getting naked as a speaker (metaphorically speaking, of course), having more fun, diving into the deep end, going before you’re ready.
Kinda like skinny dipping!
Then I showed up on Monday morning and opened Slack. My marketing coordinator had pitched this idea of a weekly Friday-fun newsletter, but hadn’t quite landed on what to call it yet.
“How about ‘Skinny Dipping with Johanna?'” I wrote.
She approved.
So here we go! Welcome to Skinny Dipping with Johanna.
Newsletter today. Perhaps a podcast tomorrow.
This is where we get to know each other a bit better, get naked (metaphorically speaking, of course) and share all the good stuff from my week with you. Let’s have some fun!
Here’s what you can expect from Skinny Dipping with Johanna:
Got a question or a request? Drop a question in the comments!
See you out there
February 8th, 2022
You’ve heard it before: Storytelling is one of the oldest forms of communication. It’s been used to teach, entertain, and influence people for centuries. And it’s still working its magic in the business world. Storytelling is a powerful tool for entrepreneurs and leaders. It will not only help you connect with your audience, it has the potential to change lives.
Before I started my speaking & coaching business, I was an actor for CIT trainings for police officers. They were learning skills for dealing with people with mental illness in crisis. The goal was to teach them to offer resources rather than “go tactical.”
I would play the part of a person with a mental illness in a crisis situation (the situations all came from real 911 calls…and you wouldn’t believe some of the situations). If the officer was using his or her skills well, I complied. If not, I escalated the crisis.
One day when my job was to play an officer who was facing depression, and who hadn’t shown up for work in several days. My character was contemplating suicide. The cops in training were doing a welfare check.
Each officer went through the scenario, and in most cases, I stayed depressed. I met the officers with a “yeah whatever” attitude. They did fine, but my character still might have taken steps to end her life once they walked out the door.
But one was different.
He sat down next to me, looked into my eyes and said “I get it. I’ve been there too.”
Then he told me a story.
For a moment I even fell out of my character and became rapt listening to this deeply compelling and vulnerable account of his own depression, and how he took a risk to trust someone who wanted to help him find his way out of it.
Back in character, I agreed to go with him to get help. I didn’t kill myself.
Afterwards I approached him to let him know he’d done a great job, and to tell him how deeply his story impacted me. We chatted for a bit, and he told me he had indeed saved lives on the street by sharing his own story.
I tell this story because as speakers we are all salespeople. We’re all saving lives. Or changing them at least. When you speak, you’re asking your audience to trade an old way of thinking for a new way of thinking.
Let’s look at how storytelling relates to business and leadership
Whether you’re selling a service, an idea, a new behavior, a shift in perspective, you want your audience to say yes, right? Just like that cop was selling the idea that help was out there for my character, and it might be worth it to go after it, we as speakers are selling ideas to our audiences so they can live the life they want.
In a world where most of us are struggling with information overload and a business landscape that changes exponentially on a daily basis, storytelling gives you the power to cut through the noise, make meaningful connections, inspire and influence as a leader in your industry.
Whether you’re a solopreneur in a service industry, a CEO at a fortune 500, or a seasoned serial entrepreneur with multiple brands, storytelling is a “must” tool to have in your marketing and leadership tool belts.
“You can have the best technology, you can have the best business model, but if the storytelling isn’t amazing, it won’t matter. Nobody will watch.” ~ Jeff Bezos
Since you’re the only one who can tell your story, or your company’s story, the story is what will set you apart as a leader. It will allow you to show your audience what’s possible, motivate them to want more, and move them to action. Not only will storytelling help you inspire and influence your audience, it will make you stand out as a brand. Period.
Check out these brands that use stories in a way that allows customers to make emotional connections with the story, and then connect to their own vision of what’s possible.
I love this hilarious and heartwarming VW ad about this kid’s Darth Vader power.
And this Bell’s ad about the dad who learned to read so he could read his son’s book. It chokes me up every time.
Or this Nike campaign about the greatness in all of us.
And of course the epic Budweiser ads. Oh my this one is a tearjerker for sure.
Stories invite people to connect emotionally. When you’re connected emotionally to your customers, you build loyalty. Your people trust you. They’re like Flynn. They want more.
Your prospective clients and customers don’t want to hear “how amazing your services or products are”, they want to hear the story of how you climbed the mountain with a broken leg and one crutch, because then they’ll be able to see that they can climb that mountain too.
They want to hear how you faced your debilitating fear of picking up the phone, and because of that one scary phone call you started the non-profit that now serves millions.
Wait what? You don’t have a big story of overcoming adversity? That’s ok.
They also want to hear the small stories of how you finally ran a mile when last week you could barely make it to the corner.
And how you got your kid to sit down at dinner with you and tell you about his day.
Great storytelling requires vision, creativity, skill, strategy and practice. Stick around while I do a deep dive into Storytelling, in this article and the ones to follow. I’ll talk about what it is and isn’t, why you need it to stand out as a business leader and just how to craft a story that wins your audience’s hearts and minds.
First, let’s be clear on what good storytelling isn’t…
It’s not simply recounting events in chronological order.
It’s not a deep dive into the tragedies and traumas of your childhood.
It’s not a showcase of all your amazing achievements.
It’s not a quagmire of details and weed patches that lead you to nowhere.
What makes a good story?
In my last blog I shared my top 7 competencies to becoming a powerful speaker. Want to take a guess on #5? Yep. Tell a better story. Here’s how:
A good story is an emotional journey that arrives at an epiphany, an aha moment. Something changes. You, the protagonist, are different at the end than you were at the beginning. No matter how benign the change, something changes.
A good story conveys the message you want to deliver. It’s a straight shot to the heart. It doesn’t have to take a side trip to the brain to make the connection. It’s human to human, heart to heart, me to you.
I say, “Here’s what I’ve figured out about being human.”
You say, “Ohhhh. I understand. I’m like you. I like you. I want to hear more.”
A good story conveys the ideas you want to communicate to your audience by taking them on a journey with you.
A good story makes me feel like your story is happening to me as the story unfolds.
When I walk out of the movie and Harry Potter just saved the day, I feel like I saved the day too. I was on that journey with him. Not only has he changed, but I am changed.
When you as a speaker tell a good story, you invite your audience into a transformation. Into deeper connection with you. They feel changed by your story.
When it comes to business, leadership and influencing people to take an action, your story is what will inspire and motivate and eventually guide your audiences to make a decision to act.
A good story helps simplify complex information and gives you a competitive advantage in the market. It’s about strategically using facts and emotions in a way that shows your audience what’s possible.
So yeah, storytelling is an old art form that’s been used in every culture and society since the dawn of time. We as humans are hardwired to tell and respond to stories.
But here’s the thing: While everyone can tell a story, and does tell stories even when they’re not aware of it, a lot of people still s**k at telling stories!
Here are some of the ways they fall flat:
1. You don’t understand what TYPE of story is needed, so you tell the wrong story at the wrong time.
2. You have no clue WHY you’re telling the story (“You told me to tell stories, so I told stories!”) and no idea how to relate your story to your audience.
3. You don’t really understand how to CRAFT a story, so you get lost on side roads, or skip over important details, or give way too many details. You don’t build adequate stakes, and your story falls flat.
4. Your DELIVERY of the story doesn’t bring it to life. Which means you aren’t using your voice and body effectively. Or you report on the thing that happened a long time ago rather than bring me into the heart of it.
Let’s start with #1. When you’re gathering stories, it’s important to understand just why you’re telling them, and how they fit into the bigger picture. Here are the 3 types of stories you need to have in your pocket as a speaker and a business owner.
As you build your treasure chest of stories, point your mind in these categories:
1. YOUR WHY STORY
This is the story of why you do what you do, and one of the most important stories you can tell.
What’s the idea that is the heartbeat of your work?
What keeps you ticking in spite of all the challenges?
It’s the purpose of your company. The reason your work matters.
When I work with clients in the Craft Your Talk program, the first thing we do is articulate the Genie Gem. This is your gem of genius that is the north star of your talk. You’ve got an idea. Some nuggets of wisdom. A perspective that drives your work. That’s your Genie Gem.
Once we articulate that I ask “How do you know that’s true?” Or “When did you first discover this?” Or “What happened that pointed you to this idea?”
That’s your story. You’re inviting your audience to go on a journey with you. Which means you’ve got to walk them on the journey you took to get to that Big Idea you’re asking them to say yes to.
There’s a good chance it’s not a story that appears on the surface to be directly connected to your company. It could come from childhood, or a job you used to have, or something that happened one strange winter night that reminded you what matters.
My cop story is a kind of why story. It shows you storytelling in action, and clearly communicates the power of storytelling. . That cop kept me (my character) from (theoretically) killing herself because he told a story.
Storytelling has the power to save lives. Boom. That’s why I do what I do.
2. YOUR INCEPTION STORY
This is the story of how you started doing the work you do. My guess is that once upon a time, you had a big problem (likely the same problem your clients have today)… You searched, did your fair share of trial and error until one day, you had a big “AHA” and you figured out how to solve your big problem and reach your goals.
Or more likely the big AHA didn’t come in one lightbulb moment, but instead in a whole bunch of little aha’s that developed over time into a Big Idea.
I had years of experience on stage as a theater artist, but “public speaking” was something that happened far away in a world that was not my hippie artist world. When one of my solo-performance students asked me to coach her for her upcoming TEDx talk, I said “Sure, I’ll see what I can do.”
At that moment I had no idea what door that would open for me.
But indeed it opened a door to coaching others. I hired a business coach and before long I had a business. When he said “Now Johanna you have to go find a stage to speak on,” I laughed and said NO WAY! I can help people speak, but I’m not a speaker myself. I have nothing to say!”
Maybe you can guess what my coach said to me.
That’s the day my business began.
I tell that story to show my audiences that I get it. I get how scary it can be to decide you have something to say, and then to say it. And how powerful it is when you say it anyway.
So back to you: You started your business to help others solve the problem you now have the solution to. Am I right?
That is your inception story!
How did you reach that “AHA”? What did you go through, what result did you have? How did it feel to go from that “hell of a problem” to that “heavenly solution”?
3. YOUR STUNNING RESULTS STORIES
Your Stunning Results story is the story of how you help your clients get more of what they want. More money, more time, more health or more happiness!
What is your value proposition? How do you help people? What problems do you solve and what desires do you fulfill? How does your company or product make a difference in people’s lives?
It’s one of the most important stories you can tell. This story is actually best told by a customer herself. But whether you tell it or someone else tells it, it’s one you’ve got to have in your arsenal.
When you can articulate the difference you make, it’s easier for people to understand why they should care about what you do and why they should work with you.
To recap, stories can make you relatable, interesting and trustworthy. They have the power to shape people’s lives.
Now that you’re clear about the TYPES of stories you need to have in your treasure chest, stay tuned for the next couple of articles when we dig into how to CRAFT and DELIVER your stories.
Stories give your brand storyteller (you) access into customers’ hearts by showing “real-life” benefits of services or products that will engage potential buyers on an emotional level. Master the skills you need to tell a compelling story that will make your audience want to follow you, hire you and tell their friends about you.
October 29th, 2021
What are powerful speaking skills? Think about the last time you heard a speaker that moved you to the core. That person who rocks you out of your comfort zone, who makes a difference in your life, whose every word you lean on.
What makes that person memorable? What makes them exceptional? What sets them apart from the run-of-the-mill, average leader?
Without a doubt, the way they speak is key to the impact they have on you.
It’s those who communicate their message with confidence and clarity that win our attention every single time.
When they get on stage, they own it. They speak without apology.
Here’s the thing: no matter how much of a genius you are at what you do, if you can’t communicate about it effectively, your people are going to follow the person who can.
Whether you’re giving a keynote speech to hundreds of people, speaking to a networking group to generate new clients, negotiating a deal with your board members, pitching for capital, or going for that big promotion, you need to deliver a strong and engaging presentation to move your audience to action. .
Mastering the art of public speaking is key to knowing how to lead change.. Mastering anything takes time and practice, you can start now with my top 7 competencies to make you a memorable, confident and effective speaker.
Let’s do this!
#1 – Know your audience
The most common mistake I see speakers make is not knowing who they’re talking to.
Way too often they’re caught in their own story or expertise (or nerves!) and aren’t speaking directly to the audience in front of them.
Yes, you’ve crafted your talk, but did you give yourself flexibility to make the right tweaks for the right audience? To engage your audience you need to know who they are, what keeps them up at night, and what their secret (and not-so-secret) desires are, and what’s going to move them into action.
Before your big (or small) talk, do your research. Step into the shoes of one person in your audience. Have a list of the “right” questions to ask the organizer or host to get to know that specific group of people.
When you speak directly to ONE PERSON, everyone will feel as if you’re talking to them. This will give you the tools you need to deliver an unprecedented talk where each person feels valued and listened to.
#2 – Expand Your Confidence
Easier said than done, right? In the words of Vince Lombardi, “Confidence is contagious, so is lack of confidence”
Which means even in your own mind, your lack of confidence will feed on itself and grow. Which also means that, when you practice confidence, it grows!
The good news is: Just like flossing your teeth or eradicating ums from your speech, speaking with confidence is a habit! One you can develop!
When you start practicing confidence — even when you don’t feel it through and through, that confidence will expand, and you’ll become a more dynamic, compelling speaker, increasing your confidence every time you speak.
Inside Speakers Playground, we go deep into PLAY to develop unshakeable confidence as a speaker.
No matter where you are in your speaker’s journey, one thing you can be certain of, this journey will help you master and leverage your confidence as a thought leader in your industry. Not to mention it will make unparalleled ripples into your personal life.
# 3 – Let your Genius Shine — without apology!
Great leadership starts with you!
The more aware you are about the secret sauce that makes you uniquely you, and the more you take a stand for that, the more effectively you’ll connect with your audience.
Showing up as yourself is essential if you want to captivate and inspire your listeners. You want your audience to say yes to your Big Idea and take the action you want them to take, but first they have to connect with you.
What do I mean by this? You know that quirky passion you have? Share it! The story you thought was a little too insignificant, dumb, unrelatable, etc… That story, they want to hear it! The genius you’ve been keeping under wraps because you’re not sure how people will respond? Bring it!
The more of yourself you bring to the stage, the more your listener will want to hear what you have to say.
#4 – Start with the transformation you’re delivering
So yeah, bring yourself to the stage, but in the end, you have to remember that … It’s not about you!
A sure fire way of losing your listeners (and being boring) is starting your talk with “You” or an intro of who you are and what you’re good at. Bzzzt !!!
Lead with the value you’re delivering..
Why should they listen? What’s in it for them? How can you communicate from the getgo that they’re going to get value from this talk?
If you go back to #1, (know your audience!) that will help you dial in just how to give your audience exactly what they want from the minute you start your talk.
#5 – Tell a better Story
Let’s talk stories!
Nothing is more compelling than a good story. Stories sell! But not just any story. The kind that will make your audience lean in and want more..
“But people want research,” you might be saying, “Evidence. Actionable skills. They don’t want the fluffy stuff,”
Of course you want to include all of that, but not in place of a good story.
The “Story” is what will give all of that other stuff context and meaning. The story will make your listener lean in and say “I ‘like you! I’m like you! I’m listening to you! Tell me more!”
Hook them by leading with value and contagious energy, keep them engaged with your goosebump inducing story. That story that will have them go “yes that’s me”! That’s when you’ll connect with that person who needs to hear what YOU have to say.
#6 Make each person feel included
Make each person in the group feel like you’re speaking directly to them!
Here are 3 ways to do that:
Speak to one person. Don’t try to speak to everyone in a generic, all-encompassing way. Use YOU more than you use WE. Even though you’re talking to lots of people, if you speak directly to ONE of them, more people will feel like you’re speaking directly to them.
Eye contact. Use your eyes to LAND your focus. Not only will this give you a commanding presence and communicate that you’re in the driver’s seat, it will help you stay more present and focused in your talk.
Pay attention to your posture and body language. This is key to keeping your audience engaged. Unconscious habits of slapping your thighs, fiddling with your hands or swaying back and forth can send a message of “I’m kinda nervous and not really in charge here.”
When you’re fully present and connected in your body, your audience will lean in and want to hear what you have to say. We go way deeper into all of these tools in Speaker’s Playground. Curious? Join us for the next one!
#7 End with a clear Call-To-Action
You are the leader here. Tell your audience what you want them to do.
Your job is to guide your audience, team, group, clients, attendees, students… to the result or transformation they came to hear you for. Whatever the stage, if you don’t leave your audience with a clear call to action, you’re doing a disservice to both you and your audience.
You’ve taken them on a journey and now they can’t wait to hear how to implement your thinking and expertise into their own lives. When you’re crystal clear, it relieves your audience of the stress of having to ask “what now?” and not knowing what to do. Be that leader that gives them direction.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur speaking to an audience of potential clients, a thought leader giving a keynote at a conference, or a high end executive speaking to your team of managers, tell your audience exactly what the next step is for them to achieve their dreams. If you’ve crafted a journey that communcates that, and your CTA is clear, compelling, directive, memorable and singular, they’ll be eager to take that action.
Bonus Tip
Have fun!
That’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it? If you’re having fun being you, your audience will have fun listening to you. You’ll connect with your audience at a deeper level
Give yourself permission to speak boldly and be the impactful leader you’re here to be.
Remember, with practice you’ll build unshakeable confidence and you’ll do it with more joy each time. So, go speak, make your impact and have fun.
Here’s what to do next!
It’s time to step up, master your speaking skills and make the impact you crave.
Click here to join me for the next Speaker’s Playground
March 4th, 2021
Do you ever get caught up in the small stuff? You know when the small stuff keeps you from the big stuff? And you don’t do the Big Vision thing you said you were gonna do? You don’t have the impact you know you can have?
Yeah me too. I hate that.
You would be so far out you couldn’t see the small stuff: how viral your post went (or how viral it didn’t go) or how many people stopped their scroll (or didn’t) when they saw you talking on their screen.
What if you backed way out from the busy. The urgency. The list. The scramble.
From the knot you feel because you need to finish the proposal and what if they don’t hire you? The waking too early because you know you should be more visible and you’re not. The middle of the night panic because wait this isn’t how I thought it would go.
What if you backed away from all of that? What would you see? There’s light, right? Some of it hot. Some of it bright. Some of it washing away down the creek bed behind your house because the small stuff is not serving you anymore.
I’m not talking disassociation here. I’m not suggesting you leave your body.
Let’s say when it comes to your body you get to go further in. You go in in in so you feel every sensation. You feel the burning in your heart and the shaking in your belly.
You feel the knot and you say “There. Right there.” You say, “I’m here.” You say “This is my body.” You say, This is the knot I feel in my belly right now.” You say, “I love you.”
And then you go further in with awareness and care.
You feel every cell waking up.
The part of your mind saying “I can’t do this” or “What was I thinking anyway?” or “I’m a piece of shit.”
The part of your mind that says “But what if they don’t love me? What if I’m not good enough? What if I’m not like the rest of them? What if they laugh at me?”
The part that’s screaming “What if they love someone else more?”
You go so far into the sensation of being awake and alive that the story dissolves, falls to the floor and all you hear is a tiny ping as it falls because it is that small. It’s that light.
So you said I love you again. And again and again and again.
So there you are in the sensation of your gorgeous humanity. You’re above and beyond all the small things.
And when it’s time to come back in — because your mother rang the dinner bell and it’s getting dark and you’re ready to put your feet back on the ground anyway and have dinner and be with people you love — you remember you have work to do that matters, you have stories to tell that someone needs to hear.
You remember you said 2021 was the year you were going to do that Big Vision thing. Suddenly that knot doesn’t feel so tight and the burning in your heart feels more like desire than terror, and the shaking in your belly feels more like joy than fear.
So you do it. You do the thing you said you were going to do. The Big Vision thing. The one that all the small things was clouding out.
You get on stage and speak. You pick up the pen and write. You start the business. You have the hard conversation. You jump out of the proverbial airplane.
December 28th, 2020
I’m not a big goal setter, but I do like to reflect on the last year. Usually I do it at my birthday time, which is in early December, but I’m doing it now, as 2021 approaches. I’m sharing the top 10 lessons I learned in 2020. (There were more. Lots more. But I’m limiting this to ten. Remember: thin ruthlessly)
We look back at lessons learned from the last year in order to look ahead at the next year, so I’ll use this post now to share the lessons for going forward.
Lessons I learned (or re-learned) in 2020:
For me this happened at lockdown. The first few weeks I was still scrambling to keep up with all the things I already had in place, but after a few weeks, I found myself with a rare commodity: extra time.
I could have been working non-stop, but chose not to. Something happened with time for me. It changed. What mattered was staying sane, staying healthy, staying connected, resting. So I did just that.
I lay in the hammock mid-afternoon and read. I lay in the grass every day just to connect with the earth. Lockdown showed me how busy I had been, and allowed me to unplug from the busy-ness and re-connect in a different, deeper way to my humanity.
I’m happy to say I’ve held on to some of that, and hope to keep ahold of it (lightly, of course) when things start opening back up again.
Yes, urgency is mostly a thing that capitalism invented to get us to think we need fixing and get us to Buy Stuff Now in an effort to fix it.
THAT SAID, fighting for racial justice has real urgency because lives are at stake. Fighting for climate justice has real urgency because the life of our planet is at stake.
As a white person who has the privilege of looking away from racism when I get too busy, I learned (again) that we white folks need to step up and out, get out of our comfort zones and take a stand. I’m still/always learning this. Messing up, forgetting, trying stuff…. I made this video in June, after George Floyd was murdered, and the invitation is still open.
Let’s keep the conversation alive. Black lives still matter. I want to keep talking. And keep taking action. You in?
One of the “scary” things I did was start the Race Stories project. It was scary because while I’ve been doing my own personal anti-racism work for many years, I’d never identified as a LEADER in anti-racism work.
(I talk about that in this podcast episode with Tara McMillon)
I was inviting BIPOC and white people together in a room to tell stories about race. Yikes. Most of the anti-racism work I’ve done has been with other white folks to do the work of cleaning up our racism, so facilitating a mixed race group felt like asking for trouble.
Even the most well-intentioned white folks can be pretty clueless, and I didn’t want to create a situation that caused more harm.
Stepping into that virtual room with the fantastic support of my collaborator, Darryl Piggot, and an amazing group of brave humans wanting to do this work, was scary and exhilarating.
And it was Worth It beyond my wildest dreams.
The relationships that were built and the stories that were told blew me away. We’re doing it again (learn more here if you’re interested in participating) and I’m gearing up for lots more scary things in 2021.
I don’t think I’m the only one who sometimes feels completely alone when I’m up against hard stuff. Or even when I’m up against not hard stuff. There’s a crazy story that got laid on some of us that makes us think we have to figure it all out alone.
We think we’re supposed to say “Yeah I got this. I’m cool. I don’t need help.” and we think that’s a win.
At lockdown, I could have gotten trapped in the isolation of me alone in front of my computer for days on end. Instead I leaned even more into my relationships with colleagues, family & friends.
My siblings, mom & niece have met on Zoom nearly weekly since lockdown in March. I have co-working buddies that I get together with regularly to set intentions and get work done. I leaned on my mastermind group to support me in thinking through business problems that need solving. I’ve also managed to dance outside in fields, play bocce ball regularly with a brave crew of pals, and take lots and lots of socially distant walks.
All in service of staying connected and getting all the support I need to make my way through this time with as much resource as I can.
In all of the distancing that COVID enforced, in many ways I feel more connected than ever before. And am reminded again that things pretty much always go better when you don’t do them alone.
Pre-COVID I was married to the idea that Speakers’ Playground needed to happen in person, NOT online, and that the work I do to help people develop their message was going to be less valuable if I taught it virtually.
I was SO WRONG! I can’t wait to get back in the room with my Speaker’s Playground gang, and I look forward to the next in person retreat where I can guide a group of folks through the talk-crafting process.
BUT what a joy it has been to get to support folks in both programs ONLINE. I’ve had people from London, India, The Philippines and Sri Lanka (to name a few) and all over the US on my webinars and programs.
The virtual container has proved very intimate and equally as possible for deep work to happen. I’m excited to see how it continues to evolve in 2021!
I’m somebody who deeply holds that people are good. I believe humans want to be connected and will do what they can to make connection happen.
I believe that if you show up with open heart and a deep listening ear, conflict can be a doorway to more intimacy and a stronger relationship, no matter how uncomfortable it might get.
When you’re in with me, you’re in for life. I will fight hard for our connection and our humanity. I stick with my people.
That has been shaken over the last couple of years in conflicts that have not ended in deeper intimacy, but have ended in deeper divide.
This is very painful, especially given the divide that is deepening on a larger scale in the US. I’m definitely not giving up on doing everything I can to reach across that divide, but I’m also learning that walking away is sometimes the most loving choice.
I’m not super woo, but I play in the woo realm from time to time. I was with my bocce ball crew just before the holidays, and in a white elephant gift exchange, I received a Tarot Deck. So we each drew a Tarot Card.
Mine said “Your obsession with possession is clouding your view. Let go of your coins to continue on your path.”
It was one of those moments when I could feel the earth and the sky vibrate with the YESness of it.
That was the seed of a BIG letting go decision I made for myself. I’m on the other side of that decision now, and it’s clear that indeed I needed to let go of some particular coins in order to continue on my path.
And yeah howdy the path is looking pretty good as a result of that letting go.
Given the circumstances, and given everything that has led you to this moment, this is true.
There’s no comparison. No judgement. No person’s path is like anyone else’s. Each person has their own set of challenges, their own moments of genius, their own longings & desires, their own reasons for doing things one way and not another, their own story.
Sometimes it’s easy to think “I should be further along this path now” or “Things shouldn’t be so hard” or “I’m an idiot. If I weren’t such a _______ I would be way more successful.” Or to beat ourselves up for choices we’ve made in the past.
But no, in every moment, each one of us is doing our absolute best with what we got.
This is especially true of you. And of me, of course.
One my my favorite coaching moments when I’m working with my clients is getting to hang out with them in the land of discomfort, encouraging them to feel the discomfort (rather than judge it or run from it) and keep moving in the direction of their goals.
This is thrilling territory. Something will be different on the other side of the discomfort.
Being willing & able to hang out with the discomfort when you want nothing more than to run is GOLD.
I’ve had my fair share of discomfort this year, as I know we all have, and the practice of staying present with it has helped me move through it. And indeed I’ve found some wondrous things on the other side of the discomfort.
When COVID hit last Spring, I thought that COVID for my mom would be a death sentence. My family had lots of conversations, and weathered a few conflicts, to make decisions that would keep her safe.
In October, she got a positive COVID diagnosis. She was not sick enough to go to the hospital, but too sick to care for herself, so I raised my hand to go to Ohio to care for her.
I geared up, took all precautions, and hunkered down in her kitchen to cook vats of nourishing food. Then I had a stroke of genius! I decided to make DOUBLE of everything I cooked, and stocked her freezer with soups & pies for her to eat well after I was gone.
I still delight in getting texts from her with a photo of her enjoying the soup she just pulled out of the freezer.
So yeah. Make extra and freeze it. Someone will be glad you did.
As I wrap this up I can think of lots more lessons I learned that I want to share with you. I know the learning will continue into 2021, so I’ll keep sharing them.
What were the lessons you learned in 2020? How are you implementing them in 2021? Say them out loud. Write them. (Right here in the comments!) Sing them. Tell someone. That’s what will make them stick
And since we’re going to change the world together, we definitely want those lessons to stick!
May 1st, 2020
One of the biggest reasons people don’t take the leap and get on stage to speak is because they’re afraid of negative feedback.
What will people think of me? Will they judge me if I mess up? What if people laugh at me? Or discover what an imposter I am? What if I fall flat on my face and people share my failure all over social media?
When I hear those kinds of worries from my clients — and from myself — I usually say “YES! Any of those things COULD HAPPEN, and probably will at some point in your speaking life, so what if?”
It’s actually none of your business. It’s their business. Their problem. Their bad day.
YES serve your audience. Be relevant. Pay attention to what they need and what truly serves them.
But when the haters come out to hate, and the judgers come out to judge, and throw their negative feedback at you…
I had this experience recently:
You may know I hosted a virtual story slam last month — the first one.
When things shut down mid-March and we had to cancel our March 29 slam, we said “Ah too bad,” and thought it would be a brief pause till we would be in person again. (By May! Ha!)
Then, on Tuesday a week into lockdown, when “social distancing” was getting real, I said “Let’s do a virtual slam!”
The following Sunday we were broadcasting to 250 people. There were 8 storytellers, 2 co-hosts, a new platform, and people from all over the world tuning in.
It didn’t go off without a few bumps, of course. We thought about a million and two details, and that million and 3rd thing we didn’t think about…. Well, all I can say is “oops.”
We got lots of great feedback, had fun — amidst the stress — and all in all, it was a success.
Two weeks later I got an email with the subject “I don’t know about that last slam.”
The writer proceeded to list all the things that went “wrong” at the slam. Then made (unsolicited) suggestions for how I could be more “professional.” Made a kinda mean Statement Of Truth about a creative choice I’d made. Then “We’re all on a learning curve. I trust you’ll figure it out. To your success!”
I trust she meant well, but her well-meant negative feedback wasn’t helpful.
Except that it helped me remember “Oh right! This is the reason people don’t put themselves out there. Because they might get an email LIKE THIS.”
Here’s how I coached myself through it.
FIRST, mindset:
Here’s to mistakes! Yay for imperfection! Good thing we’re human!
Imagine if we had opted to wait till we knew it would be perfect! All those people who wouldn’t have gotten to connect through stories! Imagine the distance we wouldn’t have shrunk by sharing imperfect stories!
I’m all for craft & practice & rehearsal, but when we celebrate our mistakes it reminds us that it’s OK to put yourself out even before you have everything all figured out.
In my book, being connected is more important than being perfect.
I always say that speaking is not about you — it’s about your audience, and the value you bring to them.
Which also means that when someone in your audience gives unsolicited negative feedback, you guessed it, it’s not about you. It’s about them.
They’re letting you in on their triggers, their idiosyncrasies, their childhood disappointments, that thing that’s not going so well in their life.
There’s a good chance you’ve already done an inventory of the mistakes and the misses and the things that didn’t quite go as planned.
So if someone else is called to point them out to you, then yep. It says more about them than about you.
Who wants plain old saltine crackers? I mean I guess when you’re home with the (plain old) flu and your mom brings you chicken soup in bed with a little stack of saltine crackers right next to it, who can argue with saltine crackers? They’re just about the best thing ever.
But when it comes to speaking, you don’t want to be that bland.
And if nobody is annoyed or triggered or thinking funny things about you, it’s quite possible you’re not putting yourself out there as boldly as you could be.
You’re not going to please everyone. Some people won’t like you. Some people will even say mean things.
Good for you. You just have to stay in the arena and keep doing your work. Staying true to your mission. Putting it out there. Speaking your truth.
1.Say ouch.
Then consider yourself as having arrived. You’re in the club now. Yay for you. You got an ear-full of negative feedback. That means you’re taking a leap and doing a brave thing. You’re putting yourself out there. You go. Yay you!
2. Open a document and write down all the things you want to say in response. Go ahead. Get snarky. Be mean right back. Write all the things. Don’t hold back. Then close the document and carry on. (As in don’t send the email. Don’t even bother with a polite one defending yourself)
3. Ask: Is it useful?
Maybe you can listen and learn. I love feedback. (When I ask for it.) If you’re anything like most humans I know, you have your own list of things that went “wrong.” So it’s not that useful for someone else to list them for you.
But if there’s something you missed, and it’s useful feedback to attend to, then use what’s helpful and disregard the rest.
4. Ask: Where’s the feedback coming from ?
Who do you respect? Who’s opinion matters? Is it someone you have a relationship with? Is it someone who’s also “in the arena”?
The honest opinion of someone I respect can help me discern between my own self-critical self-attack and useful feedback.
5. Ask: Did I ask for it?
I often ASK for feedback. I ask one of those trusted people “How did that story work? Was it relevant? Did the transition work for you?” I want to know and I’m open to hearing how it landed.
But if I didn’t ask for it, or give permission to share it because they asked, even if it’s from a trusted source, I’m not interested.
6. Once you’ve done that, then…Let it go, let it go! Can’t hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go! Turn away and slam the door. I don’t care what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway
7. Finally, delete the email. Bless and move on. Yep. See ya.
You’ve got work to you. Go do it.
Here are the conditions under which it cool to give someone “constructive” feedback after a presentation.
1.You have a relationship with the person in which feedback is agreed upon
If you don’t have this relationship, leave it. Like a bone. Just drop it and walk away.
I know I know. It’s not with mal-intent that you offer it. You want to be helpful.
But here’s the thing: its not helpful.
You have no idea what that person’s working on, what their goals for the presentation were, what feedback they have requested. If you don’t have a relationship in which giving feedback to one another is an agreed upon practice, then don’t give it. PERIOD.
2. You’re also “in the arena”
Brene Brown said “If you’re not in the arena getting your ass kicked, then I don’t want to hear your feedback.”
So for instance, if you haven’t just produced your first online event for 250 people with 8 storytellers and countless other details to attend to, then you’re in no position to give feedback to someone who just has.
Even if you’re in a different arena.
Nope. Not your job. PERIOD.
3. They asked for your feedback
Cool. If the speaker asks you for feedback, perhaps ask “What specifically are you looking for?” The more you can speak directly to their need, the more effective your feedback will be.
If no one asked you for feedback, then it’s not your job to give it to them.
If you’re really really chomping at the bit to share your feedback and you write in your journal for days and you talk to your therapist about it and still are convinced it would make their life better to hear it, please first ask “Hey I’d like to share some thinking about the event you just produced. Are you open to hearing it?”
If the answer is no, then don’t give it. PERIOD.
If you’re going to put yourself out there, take leaps, walk to your edge, try stuff, there will be people who give you unhelpful, unsolicited, negative feedback.
So you gotta do the work of self- love and self-acceptance, let the criticism roll right off, and keep shining your light in the world.
How bout you? What’s your go-to practice when you get unsolicited feedback?
February 11th, 2020
I’ve been online dating with a vengeance recently.
I just decided “OK if I’m gonna do this, I’m doing it full-on.”
So I started swiping right with verve & gusto.
And yes, it’s true, I now have a phd in online dating.
Recently one of my dates asked me how my work as a speaking coach has made me better at dating.
Hmm….interesting question.
First of all, it’s kicked me to the curb and back a few times, and I’ve gotten up every time a little bit stronger, way smarter and a whole lot more confident.
You know how you go around thinking “Yeah I’m cool. I’ve done my homework. I’ve gone to therapy. I’ve cleaned up all the shadowy stuff in the crevices of my psyche.”
Then you start a business and get some harebrained idea that you can get on stage carrying the authority that says “I have something to say that is worth 30-60 minutes of your time.”
And then BAM. Faceplant. You land right smack dab in the middle of those old messages that for decades whispered little lies into your ears about who you are and who you get to be in the world. You thought they were gone, but nuh-uh.
Those noogly little self-doubt-demon-whispers turn into screams, to the point where you might start saying to yourself “What in the world was I thinking?”
So you meet them. You can’t let them win. And in meeting them — in making the decision that you’re not gonna let them win — you call up your strongest, deepest power from the well of your being and it becomes yours in a bigger bolder way.
“So then I bring that bad-ass self to a date,” I said, “and, well… does that answer your question?”
“Wow,” he said. “Yes it sure does.”
I’ve gotten really good at asking questions, too. And listening.
The dates are often not so good at asking questions in return. (Yawn)
One guy, after talk-talk-talking speedily and without pause for a long time said (based on the training he’d done on how to “size people up” on first meeting) “I like the way you chew on ideas. I like the way you think and speak deliberately and slowly. Like me. I think we’re compatible in that area.”
Then he kept speedy-talking.
A previous version of myself might have politely listened, then gone home to tell a friend about the guy who couldn’t stop talking.
But after I listened and nodded while he went on about how the data showed we were a compatible match, I said, “Thanks for sharing. But I gotta say that’s not how I experience you at all. I’ve had a difficult time connecting with you because I can’t tell you’re actually talking to me. It sorta seems you’re talking into thin air and I could be here or not here.”
“Wow yes. It’s more than ok. Thanks so much for your honest feedback. It’s rare to get honest feedback.”
I was on a date with another guy who talk-talk-talked without pause, as I listened curiously, interjecting when I could. At one point I said “Hey — wondering if you’re interested in asking me any questions.”
“Yes, I do!” he said, but then he kept talking, and told another long story.
I said, “You know, my default is to listen & ask questions, and I do it because I enjoy it, but when it’s not reciprocated after such a long time, I start to grow weary.” And he kept talking.
Finally I said, with kindness and compassion, “I just want you to know I’ve stopped listening. I don’t have the attention to listen any more, so I’m not tracking your story.”
He was a little shocked, but in the end he appreciated the honesty. Listening was still super hard for him, (he even said “Wow I really don’t know how to do this”) it did shift the conversation into a more connected place.
I could go on and on. There’s probably a book in here.
The reason I’m telling you this is because I want to show you how getting on stage and speaking — and meeting the voices that want to keep you small — will make you a bad-ass in all departments of your life.
I mean I guess telling a guy he talks too much is probably not gonna get me a second date. But it’s not “a second date at all costs” that I’m after. It’s authenticity, and real human connection, whatever that looks like.
So how has my work as a speaker made me a better online dater?
Showing up. Being transparent. Speaking truth. Taking risks.
Trusting that the truth of your experience has value.
Yes, that. That’s a big one.
And when you own it, and speak it, and feel the discomfort of walking your own edge, it brings you closer to yourself, closer to your audience, closer to true connection and transformation — whether it’s a room of 500 people or one guy sitting across the table on a date.
How about you? What’s your bad-ass self up to these days?
December 10th, 2019
Because really that’s what it’s all about, right? Getting the yes. Making the sale. Even if you think you’re not “selling” something, you are. You’re selling an idea. A new behavior. Maybe also a product or service. A program.
But whatever the reason for your talk, you’re persuading your audience to trade in something they have (a behavior, a way of thinking, money, time) for something you have (a product, a service, a new way of thinking, a new behavior).
But before you get to selling any of those things I named above, you gotta sell the idea behind it so that your audience sees the WHY behind what you’re offering.
When I first started speaking, my goal was to get through the dang talk. I just wanted to survive. Had no goal of actually getting a client, or impacting someone through my talk, I just wanted to survive.
Since then I’ve figured out a thing or two about how to make a talk truly work for me and for my audience — so we all benefit from the investment of blood, sweat & tears. (OK there’s generally not blood involved, but definitely sweat & tears.)
And I love thinking about how to make talks more engaging, more compelling, more lucrative and more persuasive.
Here are a few things you can start using right away to help notch up the persuasive potential of your talk.
“IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!” Remember? I’m in the audience, and I don’t really care that much about you and your credentials or your awesomeness or your expertise.
I’ve heard too many openings that sound something like this:
“Hi my name is _______.
I got a degree at xyz.
I’ve worked with xyz company.
Here’s my team of more awesome people”
I will care about that once I believe you can help me. But if you start with that right out of the gate, I’m yawning and sneaking a peak at my phone to see if I got that text I was expecting.
Instead, lead with value. Let me know from the getgo that you’re here for me. That will get my attention right away, and lay the groundwork for me to say YES to your big idea.
You know how in an emergency, if you say “call 911” everyone will stand around looking at each other thinking someone else will make the call?
But if you point to a person and say “YOU! Call 911!” that person will pull out their phone and take action.
When giving a talk or a presentation, it’s essential to know exactly who you’re talking to.
If you could get your message through to ONE PERSON, who would that person be?
Talk to that person. Not a generic WE. Talk to YOU. Then I’ll sit up and listen.
A story is going to go so much further than a bunch of theoretical ideas, or a boatload of graphs & charts & data points. Those things are fine and valuable and necessary indeed, but they’re not going to have the same impact without a story.
I helped a woman (who was all geeked out on math & science) craft a pitch for a pitch contest.
Early in our work together, she told me a story about the reason she made the product. The story hit me right in the gutt.
I said “Tell that story.” She said nope. She insisted they don’t want to hear that fluff. They want the hard data.
At the final practice round, she placed last in the mock competition, so she came back into my office and said “OK. I’ll try the story.”
Can you guess how it ended? Yep. She won $65,000. That’s a $65,000 story right there.
I’m not for creating false urgency at all. I don’t want anyone to buy from a place of urgency. There’s too much urgency out there in the world for any of us to be generating false urgency.
That said, if you can truly answer the question “WHY NOW, NOT LATER?” to the prospect, they create their own urgency.
If you’re able to convey the cost of NOT taking action, your audience will be right there with you ready to raise their hand & say yes.
What do you want your audience to DO (or think or say or feel) at the end of your talk?
There’s nothing like an inspirational talk that inspires every last cell in my body… and then I’m left hanging in the big fat unknown of what now? So I leave the room and walk right back into my same ole same ole status quo.
Your job is to answer that “What now?” question for your audience.
You’ve delivered value. They’ve bought into the idea. They’re ready to say yes.
You need to ensure they know exactly what step they need to take next to get them closer to the thing they want.
Don’t try to say everything. Really. You’ll just confuse and overwhelm your audience. It’s hard, I know. (Believe me, I’ve been there)
But the less you say, the more your audience will hear.
Keep it simple. Kill your darlings. Thrash & burn the filler. Hone in on what’s truly essential, and your audience will hear way more of what you have to say.
Not at the expense of story by any means!
Please don’t pummel me with stats & numbers & slides of charts & graphs, but do share meaningful data that tells a story.
When you use data, don’t just throw it in my face and say “There. Did data.”
Tell me the story of the data. Paint a picture of how it’s relevant for me. Share the data, but don’t leave me to do the work of why it’s meaningful.
We can sometimes be tempted to get into a mindset of “My way is right. Your way is wrong” and we think that’s how to make a sale.
Bzzzt.
You may have an impulse to tell your audience they’ve been doing it wrong all along, and that’s why they’re failing, and that’s why they need YOUR HELP.
It’s true that what you have to share is going to make a huge difference in their lives. But not because they’ve been doing it wrong.
Try making your audience right. They’re smart. They’re already doing it the best they can. But your new perspective will be the missing link that will take them to the place they want to go.
Your audience will certainly have objections to what you’re saying. Self-doubt, reasons why they’re going to hold on to the current way of doing things, and good, healthy skepticism are bound to be bouncing around in your audiences head. Especially if the yes you’re asking or is going to mean letting go of a familiar habit or behavior.
They might be thinking “That might work for you, but no way is that ever gonna work for me” or “I could never pull something like this off” or ” Yeah but I have xyz obstacle so this doesn’t apply to me.”
Articulate those possible objections to yourself, then in your talk use phrases like “You may be thinking….” or “At this point you’re probably wondering…”
When you can identify those objections before they take hold, you’re much closer to the big fat yes you’re after.
November 11th, 2019
Ever notice how that person who paces back and forth on the stage kinda makes you wonder if they’re digging a hole in the floor to escape?
Or the one who’s so frozen stiff you start to worry that she’s going to suffocate up there, which makes you stop breathing too?
Then there’s the one who just rocks back and forth from one foot to another so much that you start to feel a little seasick with the rocking.
And the one with the nervous flailing and pacing all over the stage actually exhausts you.
The way you show up in your body makes a huge difference in determining whether or not your message gets communicated effectively.
The words you say — important as they are — are a very small percentage of what your audience is experiencing.
Since your goal is to make a connection and get the yes, let’s look at a few ways what your body is doing might be undermining that connection — and what to do instead.
Lots and lots of speakers move way too much on stage. Movement in itself isn’t problematic, but unconscious movement is.
For most of my clients, the practice of planting their feet helps them contain and focus their energy — so rather than spending it all over the stage, they send their energy through their words to their audience.
This is especially important at the beginning and at the end of your talk.
It’s also essential when you’re making an offer. When you’re delivering your central idea. When you’re delivering any key points.
When you plant your feet, it communicates authority and confidence.
Seems kind of obvious, right? Of course move on purpose.
Just like planting your feet, moving on purpose helps to communicate your authority.
It conveys the clarity of your presence, the focus of your ideas and the confidence of your expertise.
When you pace around the stage, your audience reads nervousness.
When you move on purpose, your audience reads confidence.
One of your purposeful ways to walk and move on stage is to move when you’re transitioning from one idea to the next.
This signifies to the audience “I’m changing lanes. Come with me.”
Do this when you’re moving from your intro to the meat of the content, when you’re moving from a story to the take-aways. When you’re transitioning into the offer.
If you combine it with a pause in your speech, you’ve created a clean slate for the audience to process what you’ve just said and be ready to hear what’s next.
It also can serve as a reminder to pause, to take a breath, to find the internal shift in yourself as you prepare for the next section of your talk.
That way you don’t railroad through the content, but breath as you move through it, and give it space to be heard.
I also call this space putty.
When you’re telling a story, tell the story with your body.
This doesn’t mean “act it out” as if you’re pantomiming the story.
This means bringing the story to life by bringing your physicality into your delivery. Put yourself inside the story. See the story as it’s happening. Let your body be impacted by the telling of the story, and let your body help you tell the story.
So yes! Move a lot! Let the story move you, and your audience will be moved.
Yes, pause your movement, too.
I’ve often talked about the power of the pause. (Check out this post to read more about how and when and why to pause in your speech.)
It’s also important to understand that your speech is not the only thing pausing.
When your hands pause, and your movement pauses, and your eyes pause, then I really feel the pause.
Let yourself land.
Right now — try it. Exhale. Land. In this moment.
We don’t often do that when speaking. We’re so wired and fired up that we blast all over the stage never fully arriving into the space.
That energy is great! AND, to land that energy, and really arrive, you gotta slow down and pause to really connect with your audience.
If you hang around these parts long enough, you’ll hear me talk over and over again about practice. Presenting is the part when you get to have a whole lot of fun —if you’ve practiced .
But practice is the hard part.
And most people just don’t do it.
Practice doesn’t just mean running your talk over and over again.
It means scales. You gotta do your scales. Or your hill sprints. Or your weight lifting.
Choose a skill to work on and WORK ON THAT SKILL.
So if you’re working on how to use movement to enhance the clarity of your presentation, do some rehearsals where your primary focus is on how & when you move through the space, and decide when it’s most powerful to stand still.
That way when you’re giving your talk, your body won’t be the channel for all your nerves to make you race around the stage. Instead all that energy will go towards delivering the most powerful talk possible to your audience.
Your audience will be moved by your message, rather than distracted by your movement.
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